Having chosen English as the preferred language in the worldwide community of devotees, the BBT editorial board commissioned a secret feasibility study on ways of improving Srila Prabhupada’s books. This plan can now be revealed.
Linguists around the world have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessarily difficult -- for example, cough, plough, rough, through and thorough. The BBT editors have determined that what is clearly needed is a phased programme of changes to iron out these anomalies. The programme would, of course, be administered by a committee staffed at the top level by career editors such as Jayadvaita Swami and Dravida Prabhu.
In the first year, for example, the committee would suggest using 's' instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, shange-vadis in all sities would resieve this news with joy. Then the hard 'c' could be replaced by 'k' since both letters are pronounsed alike. Not only would this klear up konfusion in the minds of BBT site workers, but keyboards kould be made with one less letter.
There would be growing enthusiasm when in the sekond year, it kould be annoused that the troublesome 'ph' would henseforth be written 'f'. This would make words like 'filosophy' twenty per sent shorter in print, which translates into big savings for the BBT publishers.
In the third year, akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reash the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible. The editors would enkourage the removal of double letters which have always been a deterent to akurate speling. And, we would al agre with the editors that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the language is disgrasful. Therefor we kould drop thes and kontinu to read and writ as though nothing had hapend.
By this tim it would be four years sins the skem began and peopl would be reseptiv to steps sutsh as replsing 'th' by 'z'. Perhaps zen ze funktion of 'w' kould be taken on by 'v', vitsh is, after al, half a 'w'. Shortly after zis, ze unesesary 'o' kould be dropd from words kontaining 'ou'. Similar arguments vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
Kontinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud eventuli hav a reli sensibl riten styl. After tventi yers zer vud be no mor trubls or difikultis, and evrivun vud fin it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
Zen, ze drems of ze BT editrz vud finali hav kum tru!